you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
