I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
