Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
