had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
