Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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