it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
