fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
