ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
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