My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Randomize
