Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
