I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
