but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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