so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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