plz talk dirty to me
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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