she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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