She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
