the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
