And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
The cops high fived after they tackled you
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
