her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
