It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
