um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Drake has all the answers
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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