JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
