Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Randomize
