you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
