Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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