Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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