He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
