Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
