I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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