The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
