So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize