so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
