This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
