just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
