lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Two words: blizzard sex
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
