so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
