If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize
