no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Two words: blizzard sex
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
