how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize