ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Randomize
