whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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