How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
