either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
