I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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