unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
