Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
