I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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