I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
