I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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