i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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